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We Were Designed To Connect

June 27, 2012

“When we don’t connect, we feel empty. We were designed to connect by a connecting God. Anything less leaves us with an awful ache that we mightily wish wasn’t there. The ache can be so bad that whatever relieves it, even for a moment, can seem good.”

Dr. Larry Crabb, Connecting, Page 129

Questions for Reflection:
How do you attempt to relieve the ache that Dr. Crabb describes here?
How does that keep you from connecting?

  1. Rachele Flores permalink

    I am reading Inside Out and doing this study with 5 women. I have a question on how to communicate with leaders in the church that taking an Inside look is important and VERY necessary. I got a comment from one of them that I am making it sound that God’s Word is not enough to free us from our bondage and chains. I would REALLY appreciate your help in answering this question. How do I explain that if we just look at the outside, then we are just like the Pharisees.

    • Rachele permalink

      I just wanted to also say thank you for writing the book Inside Out! It is life changing! I was referred to it by Dan Allendar’s book Wounded Heart! Both of these books have set me free from SOOOO MUCH! I am so much more free to love and forgive others then I ever have been in my 20 year Christian walk!!!! I CAN NOT SAY THANK YOU ENOUGH! I didn’t understand why I was the way I was. I wanted to love, I wanted to trust God, I wanted to forgive, I just didn’t know what was blocking it. I see that if I never looked at the inside I would be just like the religious leaders, full of self doing, pride, arrogance, self reliance, and all that the legalism represents. Now that drain of my heart is finally becoming unclogged with truth, so that Living Water can flow out! Praise God!

      • Ken permalink

        I wanted to respond to your question because it’s an important one.

        God’s Word, Christ’s sacrificial death, and God’s grace ARE enough to free us from our bondage and chains. Yet, as you’ve noticed, there are a lot of Christians who are still bound up by their past, by addictive behaviors, by hurts that were dumped on them from earliest childhood until the present. Paul tells us in Romans 6-8 that we died with Christ and we are dead to sin. We are no longer slaves of sin, but slaves of righteousness. Yet even Paul the Apostle says that he does the very things he doesn’t want to do, and doesn’t do the very things he does want to do.

        So can we all agree that while God’s Word and the finished work of Christ are powerful enough to deliver us from bondage, there must still be something keeping us from fully realizing the deliverance (or we’d all be near perfect Christians)?

        You mentioned in one of your posts the pride, arrogance, self-reliance and legalism that were exhibited by the religious leaders of Jesus’ time. And times haven’t changed. I believe that the inside look is necessary for deliverance.

        I’ve been involved in Celebrate Recovery for a number of years (a Christ-centered, Biblical 12 step program). Step 1 is to get out of denial. “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.” How can you possibly do that without taking a look inside?

        Once you admit you have a problem (or a number of problems), you want a solution. Step 2 acknowledges that the power for restoration doesn’t come from within, but it’s God who works in us to will and to act according to his good purpose (Philippians 2:13).

        Step 3 is making the decision to turn it all over to God’s care. For some, that’s the moment of coming to Christ. For believers, it’s a new step of surrender.

        Step 4 is all about the inside look. “We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Lamentations 3:40 says, “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD.” This is where recovery really starts to happen. You discover the “stuff” that’s holding you in bondage, and in the remaining steps of the 12 step program, you deal with it, in community.

        I believe Dr. Crabb is saying much the same thing. In Larry’s SoulCare courses (one version available on DVD at NewWay Ministries’ e-store, another version at he stresses the importance of community and the critical need to be safe. I firmly believe there’d be no need for programs like Celebrate Recovery if the Church would determine to be a safe place for people to admit their bondage, and work on recovery in community. Too many of our well-meaning churches are places where we feel the need to put on a mask and pretend that everything’s OK because everybody else is wearing a mask and pretending to be OK.

        I once had a pastor tell me he saw the church as a christian mutual admiration society. I think our churches are hospitals, but we’re trying to hide the fact that we have sick, unhealthy people in our churches.

        So, Rachele, there’s my 2 cents worth on the subject.

  2. What an appropriate excerpt from your book as the women in our church have just launched a blog of our own called CONNECTING. I shared your quote on my face book page today. Thank you for diligently continuing to reach out to this hurting world with the Truth and the hope that we can live in the freedom God designed for us.

  3. Rachele permalink

    Thank you so much for all that you shared. It spoke to my heart & brought me understanding of the connection needed. Again, I want to thank you all for what you do. I am in a group of 4 women going through the Inside Out study. It is life changing. Can you recommend another book that we can go through together as we are wanting to build relationships togehter, a safe group, & accountablilty?

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